Ok, after posting that last reply I went back to first principles and have FINALLY made this work and in the end it was EASY
I am sorry Arvy but I think you gave me incorrect information in your original instructions, at least for someone with less than ninja soldering skills. When I gave up on trying to solder the 2 parts together directly, I went back and looked at the light strip I'd bought. It had a connector attached that I'd cut off together with a short length of lights. Dissecting this with a scalpel, it was clearly 3 wires soldered onto the lighting. So, I had a crack at cutting the connector off and soldering it onto a new set of lights and it was really easy, got it first time, because it didn't have to be soldered on to the side with the adhesive (despite all my scraping and heating I was unable to get enough adhesive off the sticky side to make the contact hold).
All I then had to do was to solder the female connector onto one of my remaining Blinkstick Flex boards. Didn't work! Realised I'd soldered it on back to front - took 3 minutes to resolder it the right way and it lights up beautifully.
This has the massive additional benefit that if you break your lights (like I have with my original Blinkstick Flex - only 6 LEDs of the original 32 still light), you only have to solder a new connector onto the lights and away you go (avoiding the risk of melting the Flex board like I did with my repeated attempts).
Arvy, is the Blinkstick Flex just a Flex board with lights attached? i.e. can I resolder it with new lights?
I ordered these yesterday:
They arrived this morning and I've repeated the feat for my remaining Flex in minutes. I cannot emphasise how happy I am that I managed to make this work. This is a project that involves 4 raspberry pi's, a custom built control box and much Ruby programming (attempting to add to ruby lib the same level of support as for the python library - morph etc). I would have been (was!) gutted when I thought I'd have to abandon it all because of what I thought would be the easy bit at the end.
All's well that ends well. Now where's the Blinkstick Flex board ordering page - I need MORE